September 14

Today was a very exciting day. First, we took a tour of the lab where they grew my cells and even got to see my cells under the microscope. I told them we were ready for them and that I promised to fight right alongside with them. Although the science is greatly above me, it is really an amazing orchestration of cell generation and manipulation. The people in the lab have been working with my cells for months (considering they began with the original harvest from the liver biopsy and then created brand new cells from the tumor on my neck). They know my name and our story. It was really humbling to have the chance to meet them in person and see where all of the magic happens. And now my cells are sleeping peacefully, dreaming victorious dreams, and preparing to fight to the death tomorrow. I love you little cells, you are my salvation.  And for that, I am thankful.

The second exciting thing we did today was get our heads shaved.  That’s right, I said our heads. My dear, sweet, wonderful Jeff shaved his head as an act of love and solidarity. He said, “This is our cancer and this is our baldness.” If you know him, I’m sure you are not surprised; he is one of the most (the absolute most in my opinion) caring, loving, generous, loyal men you’ll ever meet. I cannot believe that I am so lucky as to be his wife. I promise you, my love, I will fight with everything I have and I will win this battle. And after I do, I will devote the rest of our long lives to ensuring you are happy and you are loved every second of every day. And for now, we will wear our baldness proudly and beautifully together. It is our badge and our shield, and it will soon be our winning trophy, for there is no doubt that this is our fight.

Other than those two fantastically exciting events, this day was uneventful. I didn’t receive any treatment today because it was the rest between the last dose of chemo (yesterday) and receiving the new cells (tomorrow). I’m feeling tired and sometimes nauseous, but otherwise great and ready to kick some cancer butt tomorrow. Tomorrow is when it all begins. Tomorrow is the first day of my cure. Dr. Yang, one of the attending physicians, told us that a woman who recently participated in this study is almost completely disease free after just one month. Just one month. That will be me too, but without the “almost.” I think that by Christmas the cancer will be gone. We will greet 2012 with overflowing gratitude, full of love, and with renewed energy to fight for others using all of the strength we gained fighting for ourselves.  It’s going to be a glorious year, of that I am sure.

Today I am thankful for my new warrior cells who are going to rush in fighting and finish this chaos; I am thankful for the brilliant scientists and doctors who created my new cells and this treatment; I am thankful for my loving healing goddesses who make each day here a joy; I am thankful for Leah and Christine who shaved our heads with dignity and made us beautiful and proud; I am thankful for the continued support of our amazing family and friends; and, as always, I am thankful more than words can say for my sweet, sweet Jeff and our perfect baby Kai. If you grow up to be half the man your father is, sweet baby, you will be quite a man indeed.